you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
