I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
