i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize