Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
don't judge my taste in strippers
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize