What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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