She is in my trunk
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
