Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
