I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
