you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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