you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
