ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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