ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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