Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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