Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
