I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
