I want to have your abortion
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
