her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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