I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
