Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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