The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
