he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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