I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
