if only i could text you this smell
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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