we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
