so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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