I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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