I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
