Best friends brother. Beat that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
