i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
