My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
