4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm just crazy horny about you
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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