no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
