Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you would pick up someone in the library
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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