Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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