If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize