wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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