I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
