i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
