Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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