It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
