I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
