we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
