Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
