16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
