the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
