i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The uberlube is also flammable
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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