Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
