I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
