you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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