I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Come share oat with me in your robe
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
