the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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