new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
one might say we're banned from that church
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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