the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
