she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
