That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
