I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize