shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
